Chrissy’s Wishlist

My sister has an 11 page wish list on Amazon.com.  That’s not a typo.  11 pages. She says she edits and adds to her list when she’s bored at the library.  Someone please give her some more books to catalog!  Geez.  Me? Personally, I’d go nuts in a library.  Forget it.  Being surrounded by books all day long and dealing with college students?  I’d lose it.  Forget about creating wish lists, I’d be making origami birds out of all that paper and starting little fires behind the shelves and shelves of books. It’d be like a really, really bad version of  Fahrenheit 451.

My sister is very famous for emailing my dad links to items that she wants.  It’s the running joke that Dad has bought her enough gifts to last her through her 80th birthday.  Her birthday was actually just this past weekend.  She dropped a few subtle hints like, “The alarm clock would be nice, as well as the fiestaware pie dish.  Oh, and the book on how to make pies would be great too.” Shopping was such a breeze!  Except for how I totally messed up the last step because I didn’t click the right box when I was checking out, so all her shit came to my house instead of hers.  It’s all here on my kitchen floor.  Urgh.  That’s why I like ordering stuff on line because you don’t have to deal with packing it up and going to the post office/UPS drop-off place, but because I wasn’t paying attention, I screwed it up!  Mailing anything is a project for me. Such a project that I still have the same stupid Netflix movie for like two months now because I just can’t physically put it in the mailbox.  Why is this?  Why? Why?  Why? Jesus, Mary, Joseph.

Having a wish list is actually pretty great for friends and family.  Suddenly asking, “What do you want for your birthday?” becomes a really stupid question.  There’s no more guesswork.  It’s all right there for you to see.

I always get a kick when I go through her list.  So much of a kick, I thought I’d share some of it.  Here’s a book she picked out.  The title is:  How to Wrap Five Eggs:  Traditional Japanese Packaging. Really Chris?  There’s a book on this?  I guess you never know when you might need this information.

Moving on…

rain gauge

If there was ever any doubt that my sister’s father was indeed her father, this item on her list says it all.  Drum roll… It’s a “Long Term Professional Rain and Snow Gauge.”  As opposed to a short term non-professional one.

Ok, the next item I actually bought (featured below) for my sister, but there was a host of issues, so I just gave up.  I’m sure she will be happier making her pies anyway.

It’s the “Samsung LN40A630 40-inch 1080p 120Hz LCD HDTV with Red Touch of Color.”  I think the problem was that the warehouse was”out” of the Red Touch of Color feature.  Yes, I believe that’s what the issue was.

The next item on her wish list definitely shows that we are sisters.

A bird book! How nice.  I can name that bird song in less than two notes!

Hmmmm, Penis Pokey.  Sounds like fun.  It looks like a board game.  No, am wrong.  I just looked at the description.  It’s a board book.  When might be an appropriate time to pull this out?  Could make for a good coffee table book or a drink coaster, or even a door wedge.

The following items on my sister’s wish list make me say, “Why?  Why?  Why?  Why?”

Handy Farm Devices and How to Make Them?  What?  First off, to sit and read through this book might cause death by boredom.  Not to mention, why do we want to make them?  Who has time for this?

Um, a book on preserving stuff at home?  There’s 400 some recipes.  Ok.  This could be kind of cool.  Maybe. Like in Amish country or something.